Jeff models the first full scale Tina Seamonster shirt.

All the kids are eating unicorns these days! Let's tell them to stop! Rachel and Anya are really serious about this! And the ink on Rachel's face is her own doing. She was trying to tattoo herself! These are gocco printed and limited to kids sizes.

Awesome amazing duct tape wallets made my Lisa Seamonster. This first one is about how zombies are crap at knitting. There are about 5 other designs.

New book marks!

And the new anti-holiday card pits zombies vs. a defenseless Baby Jesus! (And please don't tell me I am going to hell. These are meant to be funny and not mean. Note how Baby J remains unharmed!)

I have to say that when Jeff got sick last year, I thought there was no way I would ever make anything again. But here I am, nearly ready for Crafty. Hoping it translates into more making in my future!

Crafty Bastards is Saturday, October 3rd (rain or shine!) in Adams Morgan from 10 to 5 at the Marie Reed Learning Center. I am on the tennis courts this year! Check out http://www.craftybastards.com for more information!

It has been a summer of weeds. Stress levels through the roof, me stuck in long hot days that never seemed to end. I ditched the double stroller and opted for the bus this summer. This decision was at times liberating and at times horrifying. Trying to get two nearly 4-year-olds on a city bus can be hard. Can be like herding cats or rabbits onto a bus. At times I felt like that mean mom that everybody hates, yelling at their kids all the time. Almost everyday, I got tired of the sound of my own voice. But it has paid off. The girls are proper city kids now, riding the bus like pros, knowing not to sit next to creepizoids, etc.

And this is important because next week something magical happens. They will start Pre-K. They will start all day Pre-K at a really great public charter school. And we will take the bus there every day and then I will have 7 hours. Not one. Not two, but 7 hours to myself each day.
And the big super huge deal about wanting to raise my kids in the city is solved. Something I've written about and talked about ever since the girls were in my tummy, swimming and kicking like the smallest fish. It is solved. I am officially raising my kids in the city. And for this working class kid from the suburbs, this is a victory. It is huge and magical.

And the funny thing is that it all fell into place while we were dealing with something unforeseen. While we were hoping Jeff wouldn't die. And it wasn't just me hoping, the girls did a lot of their own wishing along the way. We didn't hide the realities of Jeff's heart failure from them. When your dad gets taken away from opening presents on Christmas morning, it's hard to not know the truth about that. It just seemed like the honest thing to do at the time. I never let them see me cry or get upset, but we also never lied to them. It is the way we have always raised our kids and I don't want to start second guessing it now, but sometimes I do. The girls know that their daddy is "heart sick" and that he will need a new heart some day, but that he loves them and isn't in pain right now. This led to Anya worrying a bunch and making wishes that "everybody lives," but that seems to have subsided a bit. The girls seem to understand Jeff's limitations and don't question too much anymore. It is just part of our life. The girls themselves, have even had their own hearts tested and look great. We told them this, too, that they have nothing to worry about for themselves. It just seemed important to do.

Jeff is stable. His close adherence to his low sodium diet is what seems to be keeping him alive and off the heart transplant list. But the draw back is that he has now lost nearly 50 pounds and is just too skinny for his ICD. The thing protrudes out of his chest like an ipod was shoved in there. So we are on a mission to fatten him up. Sometimes I wonder if I am in denial. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the fear of being left alone to raise two small children. And sometimes I know deep inside that neither is true. I have this place in my mind or heart or whatever, where I know that Jeff is going to survive. And to think anything different is just borrowing trouble. Sometimes I think he is going to survive like this for 10 years and then get a transplant and sometimes I think that someday in a distant future, doctors will shot stem cells into his heart and they will run around and repair the damage. Mostly, I try to live each day as it comes to us and be thankful that Jeff didn't die on Christmas morning. Somewhere, in another dimension, there is a less fortunate Tina dealing with a different reality. I will leave it to that poor soul to handle for the time being.

While the first four years of the girls' lives have literally ended in a fight for survival for Jeff, I do feel like I am finally coming home from a war of my own. For the past 3 years, I have been home with the girls all day and working at night with hardly an hour to myself in between. There have been many many days and months of living on 4 hours of sleep and sometimes less. So it is with joy that I will take the girls to Pre-K next week, come home and do my work during the day like a normal human being and hopefully fit in a movie once a week or some exercise or just some time to sit and be quiet and plot my next project. At the same time, I feel absolutely terrible that I have to leave them for so long at school, that for me to get this much needed sanity, that they have to be away from me. It is heartbreaking and for once in my life I actually can feel what that words means. Guilt gobbles up my insides. My guilt and I will be close friends. She will travel with me on the bus to unknown destinations (between 9 and 3), she will buy me movie tickets and she will provide nightmares during much needed naps. And this is all okay because I am sure it won't last for long because the girls are going to love school.

But when the girls get home, I will finally be prepared to be a full time mom. No computer on, no work undone, my time will be only their time and this, yes this, will make the days with them away from me easier.

I remember that the year the girls were born, Jeff and I used to sing along to this Mountain Goats song and the lyrics went, "I am going to make it through this year, if it kills me." We really meant it, too. Many many days that first year, we thought we would die. And many many days that second year, we thought we would die. But we didn't know the half of it. Now that we have been faced with these past 8 months, now that we know what dying looks like, I can only say this for myself, but there are many many days that I actually think, "We are going to live." Everybody lives.

But I have also been working on another fun project with Hello Craft. It is a weekend of fun craftiness for people who currently do or what to at some point turn their making into a business. It is the Summit of Awesome and will take place in Washington, DC on May 1-3. We just announced the cool line up of speakers and it includes Jenny Hart from Sublime Stitching and Maria Thomas, CEO of Etsy.com, plus like 30 others! I will also be speaking on the topic of Social Networking.

There is a heart deep inside of your body. It beats. You likely take this for granted.

I know that we did. Jeff and I. We took his heart and its beating for granted. And this past Christmas morning we learned not to.

I feel too tired to go into complete detail. But I do want to share a few things. Jeff is 34. He has never smoked or drank or used any drugs, ever. He has always been thin, weighing about 150 pounds when the girls were born. But in the past 3 years, he had gained about 30 pounds, still a good weight for a tall man. But lately, he had started to look a little puffy. We talked about it, but didn't really make anything of it. Then around Halloween he developed a cough. It came and went and came and went. He grew more and more tired. But he pressed on and didn't do anything about it until a few days before Xmas when he learned that he had asthma. But by Xmas eve, we knew this wasn't right. This wasn't asthma. This was something else. He couldn't breathe at all and couldn't sleep and felt like he was drowning.

So on Xmas morning his mom took him to the ER and we didn't see him again for nearly a week. Two hospitals and a million tests later and now we know that he suffered from congestive heart failure. Heart failure is when your heart fails to pump properly, not when it fails completely. So, his heart was barely pumping and couldn't move the fluids around his body, so his lungs were filling with fluid.

He was actually drowning.

And that puffy look he was sporting was actually the extra fluids in his body. Some people get heart failure from a virus, but so far, Jeff's doctor's haven't found a virus and his family history points to this problem being genetic. Besides the heart failure, Jeff's left ventrical is severely enlarged and only pumping at 20%. If Jeff's weak heart is genetic, he likely didn't help himself with the past 3 years of little sleep, high sodium food and extreme periods of stress. Before we had the girls, we lived a fairly stress-free life, doing whatever we wanted, but surviving twins has literally turned into "surviving".

So now we wait. Jeff is on a pile of meds to regulate his heart and his fluids and he is on a low-sodium diet. It is recommended that Americans eat less than 3,000 mg of sodium a day, but most Americans, including Jeff and I eat about 7,000 to 8,000mg of sodium a day. A meal at California Tortilla that he used to eat all the time had nearly 5,000mg. We must all be poisioning ourselves with these sodium levels, I keep thinking. Jeff can only eat around 1,000mg of sodium a day now. This means that he mostly has to eat all fresh food and cut out things like cheese and anything prepackaged. I am nearly done eating all of the prepackaged foods in the house and then I will be joining him full time on the new food journey. This has been hard for us because I absolutely hate cooking. I always think that the food that you get at the end isn't worth the time it took to make. And now the idea that I will actually be making bread, salsa, whatever, from scratch is just stressful. I feel like I will never ever be interested in cooking, but it is now going to have to be part of my day. But I want him to live, so here we go.

We hope that Jeff sees some improvement in this heart, but if he doesn't, the next step is to get a defibulator installed and if that doesn't work, the final step is a transplant. I can't even let myself think about that possibility. So, I won't.

People keep asking me what they can do to help us. And our friends have been so wonderful. Beth coming to hang out with the girls, Felisa sending Peapod with groceries, Sara bringing grape juice late into the night, Kelly and Lisa cooking for us, Chris visiting in the hospital, Mary Ellen offering her driving services and being a good listener. Too many to name, really.

But what you really can do for me is this. Study the faces of the people that you love. Memorize them. Listen to them when they tell you they are tired. Take a nap yourself. Think about what you are eating. Accept that no one is invincible and take care.

So, please come and say hi and get some last minute awesome gifts at the Black Cat (1811 14th St. NW WDC 20009) Rock n Shop this Sunday night! http://www.blackcatdc.com

3rd Annual Holiday Booty Market
Saturday, December 6, 2008 -- 12-6pm
Hilda's Giftshop in the National City Christian Church
5 Thomas Circle NW, Washington, DC
This event is sponsored by DEKKA, Miss Pixies, and Chipotle.

The Craft Mutiny Collective presents its 3rd annual Holiday Booty Market! This super fun event will be your chance to find that perfectly unique handmade gift before the holidays. Come and check out our indie craft event in the heart of Washington, D.C. Admission is free. Music and snacks provided! All you have to bring is your shopping list!!!

Vendors

Twenty rad vendors from the Washington, D.C. area display their handmade goodies.

Tigerflight
I draw, sew, and try to make something every day. I use my chronic doodling and collection of toys and pictures out of magazines and newspapers as inspiration. I am as equally influenced by graffiti in Paris and Philly as I am by artists like Chris Ware and Charles Burns. Tigerflight's Pirate Yeti is our show mascot!

El Jefe Design

El Jefe Design creates hand crafted art prints and concert posters for a variety of local and national acts including The Decemberists, Foo Fighters, Wilco, and The Raveonettes. Each poster is hand screen printed on recycled paper and done in limited editions.

De*nada Design
De*nada Design is a design boutique specializing in knits, bags and graphic tees that are comtemporary, fun and energetic.

60 Bugs
If you are a rad kid in D.C., it is likely that you are wearing something by 60 bugs. Debbie of 60 bugs loves the 80s, music, pop culture and DIYing, and likes to incorporate these themes into her embroidery and gocco printing.

Tina Seamonster
Tina Seamonster silk screens shirts and cards in small batches at her kitchen table with a Print Gocco. She is inspired by her life as an urban mom of twins in DC. Check out her new Grumpy Gnome line of cards and ornaments!

Dekka

DEKKA is a Fashion, Art, and Music Showroom/Retail Store in the hear of DC's most exciting are, the U Street corridor. We feature over 30 local and international designers and artists, as well as offer the latest underground music at our listening station. We thank DEKKA for being both a vendor and a sponsor of this event!

this chickadee
this chickadee is on a mission to create all sorts of magical things for you and your home. Aprons, totes, and table decorations are one-of-a-kind creations, stitched with love. The aim of this chickadee is to provide an alternative to mass-produced items and to inspire, educate and brighten.

bLuGrn design
My craft ranges from jewelry to paper goods and now baby onsies. My jewelry and paper goods consist of nature silhouettes, braille and the shark teeth i find on the chesapeak bay. My baby onsies (as well as some of my jewelry) was born from my new little mooshy gooshy boston pup, El guapo.

Pile of Craft
Pile of Craft turns colorful, bumpy, fuzzy handspun yarn into scarves,
hats, and handbags. She also creates unique and useful decorative items
out of custom-mixed polymer clay. She creates fuzzy tree cards and
other happy stationery sets, too!

Charming Vices
Charming Vices offers kitschy jewelry and accessories for guys and gals. I am compelled to recycle objects that need new lives into one of a kind creations.

Kristina Bilonick
My designs are derived from childhood memories, pop culture and a general nostalgia for the 70s and 80s. Hand printed on a mix of new and vintage apparel,kb designs add pizzaz to the dullest of wardrobes. Check out the accompanying line of glass accessories to complete the look!

8th Street Soap Kitchen
8th Street Soap Kitchen soaps are handcrafted with quality natural ingredients. Painstakingly made from scratch in small batches, these soaps lather richly, are naturally colored and carefully scented, and clean delightfully.

block party press
As with many artists, I have been drawing and making things for as long as I can remember. Sometimes my brain overflows with more ideas than my hands and my wallet can keep up with. I love texture, patterns, contrast, color (especially red, white & black and any pastel color paired with chocolate brown).

Kitten Rocks Well

Kitten Rocks Well features handmade nicnaks and stationary sets. Many of the sets are made using upcycled book and old magazine pages.

latebloom
one-of-a-kind bags handmade with vintage/weird fabrics, screenprinted designs, reworked fashion finds, and various other inspirations.

Booklish Lady
Bookish Lady makes blank journals by hand, folding and stitching or gluing each page of every journal herself. She also tracks down antique letterpress blocks (or designs her own) and uses them to print the kind of cards she likes to send to her pals.

Fisticuffs Leather
100% recycled leather and found object cuffs and watchbands...soon to have dog collars too!

Daisy Lacy
Info coming soon.

Folktale Fibers
I am a full-time spinster who carefully sources local, animal-friendly, and sustainable fibers and spins them into whimsical but practical skeins. I sell handspun yarn, handdyed and handcarded fiber, felted baubles/beads, and handknit accessories.

I went to NPR today to record a segment for Weekend Edition Sunday with Liane Hansen.

I was really afraid because the focus of the piece was making holiday gifts and I quickly realized that while I am well versed in the world of indie craft, I am more interested in the business of craft. I so heart buying and marketing and building an indie business more than the actual making, which made me kinda laugh.

But I got through it. Beth (Tigerflight) was nice enough to meet my on the corner in Columbia Height with a bag of her owls, some vintage buttons (thanks to Cori for the buttons, too!) and some thread, all things that I needed for my video and audio taping. I even asked her to explain felting to me as my cab pulled away. This all made me realize that I don't spend enough time actually making. Dabbling, really. I make lots of stuff, especially right now with the demand for ornaments in which zombies attack santa pretty high, but I don't dabble. When I get more time, I need to do this so that next time I am asked to craft on video, my hands don't shake.

There was this moment, sitting there in the darkened studio when the host did her outro: "I'm Liane Hansen and we've been talking to Tina Seamonster. Tina is a crafter, a podcaster and a blogger." Hearing myself in these terms by this stranger with a familiar voice was completely startling. I know that I am and do all of those things. But in that one instant, it felt completely for real, important. I thought, heavens, I am who I want to be when I grow up. I might not really get paid for it, but I am here and I am me and this matters. And I thought of that line in the song "My Rollercoster" by Kimya Dawson where she sings, "And my mom would say, I hope someday you get paid for being Kimya Dawson" And for that one instant I felt how it must feel to be paid to be Tina Seamonster. Someday I hope you get paid to be who you are. It will likely be the most important thing that could happen to you.

All of that said, I should be on NPR's Weekend Edition Sunday this Sunday (11/23). You can find out what time via your local NPR Station as each station plays the show at a different time. Locally in DC, WAMU plays it from 8 to 10. I will also be doing a live chat online at either 1 or 1:30 EST at http://www.npr.org/gifts. You will have to register to chat. You can also upload photos of your projects to their holiday community page while you are in there. Please stop by and ask me a nice or funny question.

3rd Annual Holiday Booty Market
Saturday, December 6, 2008 -- 12-6pm
Hilda's Giftshop in the National City Christian Church
5 Thomas Circle NW, Washington, DC

Start your holiday shopping off right, by buying handmade from the 20 coolest indie crafters in Washington, DC. We will have snacks and music and free goodie bags to the first 100 shoppers! Vendor list coming soon, but I will be there selling stuff as well as awesome other folks like Block Party Press, Denada and 60 Bugs. It should be really cool with lots of Crafty Bastards Veterans.

Craft Mutiny Holiday Trunk Show
Saturday, December 13, 2008 -- 10am-5pm
Design Within Reach - Georgetown
3307 Cady's Alley N.W.
Washington, DC 20007

Get your last minute indie holiday shopping done with Washington, D.C.'s favorite indie craft collective Craft Mutiny, at Design Within Reach on Saturday, December 13th.

Buy handmade goods and meet local crafters at this one-day event, hosted at the slickest home store in D.C. One-of-a-kind goods for sale include clothing, stationary, prints, jewelry, handspun yarn, plush items and more.

The studio is located on Cady's Alley just off 33rd St NW between M St NW and the canal.

About Design Within Reach - Georgetown
Our Georgetown Studio is located in historic Georgetown, in a landmark building sited along the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal. As a part of the Cady's Alley design development area, the 2,072 square foot space represents the best in modern furnishings from around the world. Displayed gallery style is an assortment of designs for the lounge, workspace, bedroom, patio, restaurant and cafes, in addition to lighting and floor coverings. Proprietor Ann Blackwell, a longtime modern design fan with a background in Marketing to the creative industry, oversees the Studio with her charming and knowledgeable staff.

For more information email craftmutiny@gmail.com.

This week, the TVZ team takes a look at the new syndicated fantasy series Legend of the Seeker, True Blood and The Office. Also, the news of the week and Preston of Cornish Scifi Supplement comments on the history of the BBC.

Check out the episode!

The girls were excited to go vote for Obama. We didn't realize that Rachel thought voting for someone meant they would get to meet them. Rachel cried and yelled when Obama wasn't there at our polling station to be voted for. "We are voting for him. Where is he?" Rachel asked. Young people and their expectations. I fear if the girls ever met him, they would talk his ear off and the Secret Service would be brought in to rescue him from two 3 year olds.