The other night I gave a talk at the Whole Foods as part of the Crafty Discovery Series. This was my second time doing this and it was fun. I spoke about being a professional crafter. This was funny because while I am a professional crafter, I feel like I am still learning. Still trying to figure out how to sustain holiday sales all year long, how to not have to work my part time job. I was glad to be able to talk to people who are still in the beginning stages of building product lines and brands, I feel like I have a lot to offer in that discussion. Last night reminded me how hard it is to have a successful small business, how much work I have done in the past 4 years to get here. It all seems a blur. And I wonder what awesome stuff I can do when the girls go to school, how I will have so much more time! I can't wait. Part of that is learning to silk screen without the Gocco. I feel like I am at this awesome new place.

I turned 35 two days ago. I firmly believe that we should try to reinvent ourselves every 5 years. At 25, Jeff and I had a record label and a zine. We were silly kids with big dreams. At 30, I lost 80 pounds, started this blog and then got pregnant. I am excited to see who I will become at 35.

I think that the best thing that I can do to create the next new me is to learn how to manage my stress. Since I work 18 hour days or so (staying at home, then real work, then craft business, then blogging and podcasting), my stress levels can hit these peaks during the day. Of course, as I have discussed before this makes me eat and thus stay fat and thus get stressed out and it is a circle circle circle.

I have been trying all kinds of weird things to manage my stress. Yesterday I cut my hair. The girls were using washable markers to put on "make up", which ended up making them look like Darryl Hannah in BladeRunner. They just wouldn't listen to my pleas to stop, taking away the markers made them scream and the loud just pushed me to the kitchen. I have learned to choose my battles with them, but then I medicate with Pirate's Booty or cheese. Instead, I told them that I was walking away. And I did. I went to the bathroom with my sewing scissors and cut my hair. I started with about an inch, then another, then another and another. The last time I did this, I was 12 and tired of how long my mother made me keep my hair. It was liberating both times, but kinda stupid because I don't really know how to cut hair and hate actually paying for real haircuts. Oh well. Now I just look slightly more messy than I feel I usually do.

I've had a really good food week. And today my mind feels clear and ready to deal with the girls. I told them this morning that we could go to Target to get new Play Doh. This is an undertaking as I either have to walk them a mile uphill or take them on the Metro. Then there is the shopping with the double stroller with them trying to get out. Then the mile walk home. The only thing I asked them to do was to eat their breakfast. So far, no breakfast eaten. I did switch their morning cereal to organic Fruity Bunnies from Whole Foods, which was a shock to them. They would much rather blueberry pancakes. So, instead of stressing about when we will go to Target, I told them what they needed to do and am now blogging until they comply. If they refuse to listen, they don't go. End of discussion. Once again, I am picking my battles with them and not letting things bother me.

I hope that the self-imposed 5 year personal reinvention will help me stay on track. I feel like I am waiting for an egg to hatch. And that I don't know what will come out or how long it will take. I love this. I love this feeling and this ability to envision a better me. My 35th year will be a tiny blue egg, and the hatched birdy will have the worst haircut ever.