I have to admit, I am the wimpiest twin mom ever. I totally avoid taking the girls places by myself. I tell myself it is for safety. That they totally aren't old enough to listen to me about not running off yet. And this is mostly true. They aren't even 3 yet, so I shouldn't expect them not to get the impulse to just run off. But really, if I work hard every single second of an outing with just me and them, I can overcome being out-numbered.

I did this three times last week. Once, walking them to the park, once pushing them in their stroller nearly a mile to Target and then on Friday, I took them on the Metro to Artomatic to make sure my wall was still there and that the pieces that I have already sold were still in tact. Each time with the girls got easier, but I still found myself repeating the same safety instructions over and over and over again. This has got to be the worst part of being a parent. All the talking. The sound of my own voice.

Hold my hand or you will go home. Don't run away from me or you will go home. If you listen to me you will not fall down. If you head-butt your sister, you will go home. No biting or pushing. Put that back. No cookies. You already got a new toy. Winnie the Pooh is not just for babies. Please do not pick that up.

It just goes on and on and on. If I am lucky, Anya will start to repeat the instructions for me. Rachel, no running. Rachel, do not bub bub me. Rachel, I am going to throw you in the trash. Ok, that last one is of Anya's creation, not mine.

I almost feel like I have to literally push myself into these situations each and every single day or I will just stop. That this crazy exploration of our city has to continue so that this will become our new normal. No more Tuesday mornings inside watching "How I Met Your Mother" on the DVR, I must be out in the world, making the girls experience new things.

At this age, I feel bad that they don't go to "school" if you can call daycare at 3 "school". I know some people do. But in this city, we just can't afford it. We are hoping to be able to afford pre-school in a year when they are 4, so for now, I am their teacher and their best friend and I guess it is ok if I keep pushing myself on to the next adventure. After our trip to Artomatic on Friday, I went to put the girls to bed at 8pm and couldn't wake up. Just slept through my free Friday night. I slept for 10 hours. Grandma sleep. The sleep of a twin mom who is actually pushing herself and not taking the easy at home with My Little Pony route.

Let's see how long I can keep this up. Let's see where I take them next week. Let's see.

***

Oh! My Artomatic wall is still there, on the 8th Floor. I haven't been able to take a photo yet, but here is one that my friend Rania sent me: