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In heaven without a Nintendo DS

I am thinking of ghosts again today. And the beauty of the idea that we all stay here when our bodies die. It makes religion and heaven seem sad in way. Like I don't want to go and sit at the throne of god or whoever when I could float around my own house, amongst my own things for the rest of my energy span. I love my things. The art on the wall. My daughters' shoes. The mess of packing peanuts on the bedroom floor.

I thought of this yesterday, too, as Jeff and I did our Xmas shopping. We were lucky to be without the girls while we did it, so we could get things for them without sneaking them into the cart. I kept looking all around at people, wondering how long they would get to have these things they were buying. And will they miss them when they are gone. And how boring it would be in heaven without their Nintendo DS.

The older I get and the more I love the world and life, the less I believe in god. It just seems worthless to think that there is something better than here. Here is so great. The cold air on my face, the way that orange loves blue, the taste of hazelnut candies.

I know this is weird. Sorry if it bothers you.

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Comments

it doesn't bother me. i think that way all the time.

This reminds me of my experience this weekend, we also went Christmas shopping. My thoughts at this time are usually about how I wish we didn’t have to do present exchanges. Last year I told my family not to get me anything because there wasn’t anything I really wanted. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach all the unnecessary spending on things I don't really feel like I deserve. I feel like things are just that, things and we shouldn’t get too attached to them. Despite feeling that way, while we were out shopping I lost a favorite hat of mine, somewhere along the way. My boyfriend was so sweet about it, where my parents would have said “get over it, it’s just a hat”, he went that extra mile that meant so much to me. He willingly took me back to one store to check and see if anyone had turned it in, and then suggested retracing our steps shopping for the entire day. I was so sad to have lost that hat, but at the same time I felt like such an idiot that I had become attached to such a ridiculous thing as a hat. So reading this post makes me happy, makes me feel like I am not being selfish for mourning my lost hat. That is unless you were being sarcastic, in which case I will just crawl under a rock.

That's funny cause the longer I live the more I believe in God for precisely the same reasons--it just seems too random to have all these wonderful things to feel and explore. When I think of evolution, the Big Bang, dinosaurs, etc., I just can't help but believe there is a grand architect behind it. (Hope that's not preachy!)

thanks for your comment. :) i guess if there is a god, my point is that i don't want to worship him. i don't want him to bother me while i live my life. i don't want to worry about him.

Not weird at all. I'm always glad to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks things like this. Thanks for sharing it, even if you thought some of us might be bothered.

When you say "Sorry if it bothers you" I hope what you are meaning to say is "Sorry that my family is taking advantage of your religious holiday."

If so, apology accepted -- do as you like, but please keep in mind that this is a very sacred time of year for many people and it is not to be taken lightly.

I am not sure what you mean by "taking advantage". Just because I don't believe in god, doesn't mean that I can't enjoy life and presents and fun.

And you know what. I am tired of apologizing for not believing in God. And don't get me started on how silly the idea of Jesus is to me. It is time for people who feel the way that I do to stop pretending.

Actually, Christians are taking advantage of what was originally a pagan holiday celebrating the return of the sun.

i don't think "god" or whatever would be upset about this:
i don't want him to bother me while i live my life. i don't want to worry about him.
i mean, i don't know, i guess this is wrong, but i kind of think about religion as really being about free-will. i guess with some rules, but no one should really have to tell you to not kick puppies and play grab-ass with the neighbor's wife. not that you do, i'm just saying. it's all the rule people who make jesus statues and crap that to me give god a bad name.
i can't say there isn't a god myself, because i kind of think that's arrogant to think there's nothing out there besides us humans and ain't we wonderful!
but i think there's something about just feeling alive and in the moment where you're so hyper-aware of how perfect everything is and it's a bigger feeling than you can ever explain...

I realize it's a little weird to have a x-mas tree and presents & all that since I'm not Christian and I wasn't even raised Christian (but we still did all that stuff). I really like the tree, and making cookies with my stepson & all that, but I hate spending money on presents for my family that I don’t even know if they’ll use. I’m all for presents for kids & for others IF something screams their name, but that’s it. My husband & I agreed to no presents this year. We owe the credit card company a lot in veterinary bills.

I guess I've also been especially thinking about this since I'm pregnant & will be dealing with the whole religion & x-mas & santa & etc discussions in a few years. When I was 7, my Mom started taking me to the Washington Ethical Society. Kind of like atheist Sunday School. I guess I had started asking questions about things and my friends were all going to church & whatever & my Mom wanted me to understand that just because we weren’t religious didn’t mean we didn’t have morals & I guess to provide me with some kind of community. I only ended up going there for a short time (my Dad had me most Sundays), but I did have someone from there marry my husband & I a few years ago. So I’ve been thinking about that. Will I feel my child needs organized non-religion?

Your thinking is beautiful.

My mantra is "My life is perfect". Why should you ever apologize for being happy and grateful for your present? If you cannot enjoy life as it is, then it is doubtful that Anything will make you any happier.

Sometimes I think that we get reincarnated over and over until we get to a place where we realize that our every day life seems like heaven. In my world, that is enlightenment.

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