Eileen is here from Chile. She comes once a year like Father Christmas. She swoops in and tells me I am tiny. I do not often believe her, but it is nice to hear. I do not tell her how tiny she is because I think she already knows it. This is an oversight on my part. I make up for it when I can slip it into the conversation. She is the fittest person I have ever known, so I try to match her ability to walk long distances. We walk miles home from the zoo in 98 degree weather and I do just fine. The top of my body feels big and fleshy, but my legs are strong.

In the bird house, we set the girls free from their stroller. They are excited and Rachi runs for it. I hang back with Ani and let Eileen race for Rachi. I would not trust anyone else that is not family to do this. But I trust her and it works out just fine. She was here when we were all born and this is something that cannot be forgotten.

Leaving the bird house, we round a corner and come upon the most amazing pink flamingos. First, just a few, then a huge flock of them. We are delighted. The girls practice standing on one foot like their pretty pink feathered sisters. The birds slowly creep toward us, very close. "No fighting, mingos," Anya says as one bites at another.

Then we come upon some ants. Hundreds of them. "Hello, ants. I Anya." "Be good, ants. No eating." I don't really know what Rachi means by this... but I can't stop thinking about it. And in the whole zoo we are delighted by ants and flamingos.

The misty water sprinklers are on and the girls are at first afraid of them. But Anya is either tired or hot or both and decides to stand under one for a good 10 minutes. She just stands there, getting soaked. We let her. As always with my children, I try not to tell anyone no. The longer I am a parent, the harder this gets. But for some reason, Eileen reminds me of this, that I want to be this carefree mum. That I want my girls to feel like they can do anything in the world. She is like this, the only person who I know who is like this. The only person who seems to always do what she wants to do. I respect this. But is also scares me. For me, this freedom could be difficult to control. For her, it seems brilliant, though.

We eat sushi while the damp haired girls sleep in their stroller. They wake half way through our meal and sit like big girls and cram cucumber rolls and pickled ginger into their mouths with their tiny long fingers. And I think, this is the kind of mom that I have always wanted to be. A city mom who takes her two year olds to a sushi place. A fearless mom who doesn't worry about anything. Of course, I know I am always this person deep inside, but the days often wear me down and make it hard for me to realize these adventures.

I am thinking of the last time Eileen was here, last September. And I am seeing how far I have come since then. How far with the smallening and the online shop and the being a work at home mom. But mostly, I am thinking of how different I feel about myself now. How much more I trust myself and accept myself this year. This is rad.

And I am reminded once more about how certain people in our lives can make this tremendous, gigantic impact without even trying. Without even knowing it. And how we should all remember this. And think of who does this for us. Who reminds us to be fearless and strong.