you know, i bought some stuff from you last year on etsy, and i've read your blog occaisionally, and i must say, i admire you so much. i live by a daycare, similar to the on you just described, and i feel the same way. you should not feel guilty about raising your own kids. that's the way it should be. your girls are beautiful and smart and witty and i'm sure they learned it all from you. you have a beautiful family. keep up the good work.

thanks for the comments Lauren. I was fully prepared to get flamed. This is a touchy topic, I know because the girls went to daycare for 8 months. And I love that people can make the right choice for their family, no matter the choice. I am lucky that my hand was forced into staying home (having twins). I am so lucky. We all have to decide what kind of mother we will be and I respect that.

I just had to be honest about this.

I agree with you so very much. As a grandmother I helped fill in the schedule gaps so that my granddaughter could work part time in the evenings. That choice by her parents and me was to keep her out of daycare. With her second child she was able to quit her job and stay home full time. I just don't think toddlers and preschoolers should be running around in packs 8 to 10 hours a day. They should be at home having a close relationship and learning experiences with parents who do more than feed them dinner and put them to bed.

That is sad. Maybe it's just that daycare. Alan has an aunt who runs a daycare and the kids love her. When they go on vacation the kids miss her. And I have a friend who puts her son in daycare and when he first started he would cry on the weekends when he was with his parents because he missed it so much.

I personally am so glad that I had the choice to take care of Isabelle. No matter how good a daycare can take care of her they cannot love her the way I do. And how awful if she was in a place like you mentioned.

what i am talking abotu is actually a city park where about 5 different daycares come and hang out.

our daycare experience was super. but the girls were infants and didn't get to roam around playgrounds, luckily.

It's a shame that so many facets of our lives are influenced by people who lack integrity and it's disappointing to hear that young children are affected as a result. I think your beef here is about people not doing their job. It's not necessarily the parent's fault and it's most definitely not the child's fault. Your job isn't to raise/take care of other children. It's the responsibility of the daycare providers.

Hey, I totally support you.

I come from a very conservative culture and this is a hot topic for them. My mom worked part-time while we were little, but she worked less than a mile from our house and we were watched by a neighbor sometimes. She was given a lot of grief by my grandma, my aunt, and others in our church but she continued to work, and I think it was the right choice for her.

When I got old enough, I watched my brothers when my mom was at work. However, my mom and my dad were a huge part of our lives and still are.

But I agree with you about those day-cares around here in DC. I work in the city and I see the kids and the workers in the corner.

Personally, I think its ultimately the Mother's choice. I applaud you for being there for your kids and doing what you feel like is important for your girls. Some moms are able to stay at home, some work part time, some have to work full-time. Its not my call to make the judgement for others.

Ugh - I totally disagree here. My daughter is in daycare. It is a difficult decision, but one which for many of us avoidable. With my daughter now in a daycare for a number of years, I have to say it has been marvelous and I was VERY skeptical in the beginning. My daughter has learned to be strong and widely accepting of the many different children in her extremely diverse center (chosen on purpose for racial and socioeconomic mix). She knows she is loved, she is gregarious and helpful there and elsewhere in life; though I am sure it has to do with how we discuss address some of the issues you raise here. She can wipe her own nose and deal with feelings other than happy - and she is always the first to step up and do the same for others. It's called "life". I am sure your children are precious but you are teaching them to be weaker, narrow-minded, and judgmental. Like many of my friends, you think you are loving and protecting your children - but this is an imperfect world and it is just beloved children like ours who can make a difference in it if taught a sympathetic worldview. "Dirty babies"?....good luck with that.

my response to the last comment:

Thank you for the comment to my blog. Disagreeing is great. I have to say, that having twins, my situation is likely very different from yours. My girls are also still very young and struggle every second to deal with another child. I am not teaching my children to be weak as you say, I just feel like the children at the park are not at all looked after by their daycare providers and this makes it harder for me as a mother of twins. At this time in my girls life, I am not at all interested in how they interact with other children, but much more importantly worried about their learning to deal with one another.

I try in my blog to always be honest with my mixed feelings on motherhood, daycare, children, etc. This sometimes means making people angry and that is ok.

I am glad your daughter is happy and well cared for, but in my city setting in Washington, DC, I find that most parents are not at all interested in their children and the daycare providers are even worse. Your daughter is very lucky.

it is sad that the teachers don't pay attention to the children. when i used to nanny i always ended up playing with more than just my own kids at the park. it was depressing to see some of the other nannies reading on a bench ignoring their kids, some of which were pretty young. the kids would always attach themselves to the first adult that paid any attention to them (like me)

i always resented the parents that had hand picked these nannies for their kids...some of them could barely speak the same language as the children.
i could never understand being so careless in picking the person you entrust your children to.
as a mom, now, i understand the struggle for good childcare, but i still couldn't bring myself to leave my son with someone who is simply "good enough for now".
i think it all depends on the quality of care your children receive at daycare or in the trust of a nanny.
ferris is in daycare 2 days a week now and he loves it. his babysitter is wonderful and patient and attentive and he never wants to leave when i come to pick him up... but she is one in a million and i've seen some terrible daycares, too.