i will shrink myself nano and map their DNA
The differences in the girls are worrying me. I want to jump into their DNA and see these differences. I often think they are only half identical, a not so proven theory that sometimes twins are made when the egg splits before being fertilized. Thus giving the girls the same parts from me, but different from their dad. This is how I rationalize their differences, the slight plump of Anya's face, Rachi's thinner frame. And then there are times when I know for a fact that they are completely identical, like when they sleep or are in fresh from a bath, hair all wet like seaweed on their bitty heads.
This is all, of course, visual and physical and of little consequence next to the other differences. The social ones. The emotional ones. The ones that make them most noticeably different.
At the Rock n Romp today, Rachi was overwhelmed by the people and the music and begged to be put in her stroller to leave. Anya watched and gave her an inflatable guitar found on the floor. This was the third time this week that I had to talk Rachi into a social situation. The other two involved kids at the playground who wanted to play with her, to whom she told coldly to "go away." Anya watches these exchanges very closely, offering Rachi a helpful hand when she sees an in, but it never seems to work. The differences in how they deal with things is just shocking at times. Anya smiles and offers a toy to the homeless transsexual who follows us into the park (um yeah, I will tell this story soon!), Rachi offers a hand out with a pushing motion and a firm, "go away." Anya is interested in most everything. Rachi is often heard calling things "scary" or "creepy" while planting herself in a spot and not moving from it.
I want to map their DNA on a big big board in the kitchen, where I write down my work for the day and check each little part and see what makes one child one way and the other another way. I want to know if this is a phase or will I be always worrying that one child is unhappy.
It is easy to think your kid is going through a phase, but what happens when you have a kid whose phase doesn't end? These are my big worries right now. For now, I dream of shrinking my self nano nano and mapping their DNA, like they are cloned sheep or cats. I will wear a tiny tiny lab coat and drive a little boat and be injected by a future needle that doesn't pinch. I will learn the secrets of my girls and their quirks and I will worry no more.
Comments
To tell you not to worry would be fruitless....it is difficult not to compare and worry when you have more than one child..doubly so when they are twins. BUT they are individual people and even though we can hugely influence good behaviour and compassion etc their own personalities will out. My youngest son goes crazy if he gets a 'bug' on him really screams and yet he is very brave otherwise....he never sees any of us squealing at bugs and for a time this worried me..I didn't want him to be afraid but he doesn't like them on him and that's all there is to it...we just reassure him get the bug off and carry on. He'll get over it. MY eldest child deosn't bat an eyelid at bugs and will gladly pick up a huge stag beetle...they are completely different in socail situations also....that's just who they are. It is almost impossible not to worry.
Posted by: Samski | April 23, 2007 2:54 AM
Hey Tina, like Samski said, you are going to worry, it is just the way it is...i read a quote once and it said something like 'having a child is like having a piece of your heart walk around outside your body' I don't have children and i imagine it must be overwhelming sometimes, overwhelming love and fear and anxiety and fun...perhaps the reason Rachel seems so extreme in her 'go aways' and begging to leave is because she is so young, you know kids tell it like it is, they havent yet learned to cushion a blow, they'll tell someone they are fat,and instead of being polite and then extracting yourself from company if you are feeling anti-social a child will say 'go away'. Besides Rachel is too small to have any sort of coping strategies if she is feeling overwhelmed so i guess it looks weird to you, especially since Anya seems to be some sort of social butterfly!:)They are both such beautiful girls and iam sure things will work out fine :)
Posted by: Emily | April 24, 2007 9:16 AM
I envy kids for being so open about their feelings. I wish I could just put my hand up and say "go away" when I didn't want to deal with people. Rejoice in the innocence while it lasts. At least you know when she's unhappy, because she hasn't learned to hide it yet. Wait till you have 2 teenaged girls.....
Posted by: Caitlin | April 24, 2007 10:44 AM
Of all the twins I've ever known there has always been one who was a leader and one who was a follower. Perhaps this is the case with yours. Perhaps Anya will be the out-going social butterfly who is president of her school's debate club and voted most out-going, while Rachel will be the quiet intellectual artist who spends her time thinking about the world and gets voted most likely to change the world.
Posted by: audrey | April 24, 2007 11:01 AM