the great enabling
I had been thinking about deleting my post about being sick of the excuses that people give for not losing weight. It was a little harsh and not like me. I am usually the biggest cheerleader you could meet. I am the person who you can talk to about these things. But lately, something has clicked in me that I can't seem to explain. I have been thinking about my near decade struggle with fat and the struggles of millions of others. I wondered today if it is because my goal seems so within my grasp. I mean, it is nearly 60 pounds away, but so close compared to the original 130 pounds at the beginning. I am starting to feel the pre-pregnancy me again and remembering how amazing it is to live in a smaller body. This is a feeling that everyone deserves to have. And I am so amazingly sad that so many people deny it of themselves with excuses and fears and self-loathing and cheese fries and giant pants from Wal-mart. I feel like our culture enables us to be fat, wants us to be as fat as we can possibly be. That way we eat more and buy more clothes to fit our ever expanding bodies. That way, we need more pills to keep our hearts working and our keep our sugars in check. That way we are slaves to their food and their things and their cars and their health insurance. Oh and their weight loss products! The weight loss industry doesn't want you to know how easy it is to lose weight, believe me. They don't want you to know that is is about less food, more exercise! This would ruin their whole market. I know this sounds a little crazy. I know there isn't some huge fattening cabal out there. Men in grey suits shoving donuts down our throats. I know this.
But as I wrote in my comments on the post below, someone has got to stop enabling us. At some point in a morbidly obese person's life, someone has got to tell them what is what. Someone has got to be blunt and remind them that there is a whole other person under all those excuses. We tip toe around the fat people in our lives too much when they could really use a little a tiny bit of criticism. Maybe not from me, maybe from their doctor, maybe from their mom, but from someone. It is just time to start showing people we love that we want them to survive and that no, it is not ok to weigh 300 pounds. It is not ok to eat all the easter candy. It is not ok if you *seem* healthy. I only know this because I am nearing the other side of the fence. Yes, I am still fat. Yes, I am still addicted to food, but I can feel my own hip bones now and this alone is enough to shout about. This alone is enough to make me want to spread the word.
It is when my cheerleading falls on deaf ears that I get upset. I know I can't save everyone, hell, I can barely save myself. But I want to. I really do. I want the 35 year old mother of 3 in Iowa to put the cupcake down and think about her hip bones and wonder when she will see them again. And make a list of what she can do each day to make this meeting happen. And no, pills and surgery aren't allowed! But willpower and a comfortable pair of sneakers might be a good first step.
So, I am sorry if I seemed mean.
Comments
Hey Tina, don't worry you aren't being mean, you just want to help people. There is a difference between what you say and the people who are cruel to fat people and claim that they are doing it for their own good, to spur them on. Those people do not understand and they don't want to because they do not attribute human feelings to fat people, they think every extra pound on them decreases their humanity and basic human worth. You are saying, if i have read correctly, do not take on other people's excuses, do not make your own-getting fat is super super easy and many people do not know what they've done to themselves until it becomes a problem and losing weight isn't all that easy because it is a slow process and not as fun as eating cake-but there are rewards, health,having a challenge-you are saying Tina, that it takes willpower and it does and it is weakness that is willpower's enemy (like Sherlock Holmes V Moriarty!). I think if anyone takes your comments wrongly it is because they only see the negatives of weakness, want to disassociate from it, when they should think it is part of what they are, there are many weaknesses and in recognising their weakness they can try and combat it. Its not about self-hate it is about understanding the facets of your personality, to know yourself better as you say its ''owning'' the problems. So don't worry Tina, people understand what you mean, i know too because i am on a weightloss thing-i have lost 48pounds and need to lose a bit more and i am weak because if i buy anything nice in a multipack i'll eat them all!:) The problem with a ''diet'' is they end or you die of starvation-its better to change your habits and thought process as you always say in your blog.Overeating and food addiction is about psychology more than anything else-there are a few people who are fat because of medication or physical disability but most people need to know that there is probably another reason for their weight and seek to remedy that too, whether its talking to a friend of a professional or even medication .You are a good example Tina and when it's 11pm and i want food i think of what you say (sometimes i crack and eat it and sometimes i dont!) Wow, ive written a lot more than usual! dont worry im not trying to steal your blog haha just want you to know you are good and an inspiration
Posted by: Emily | April 1, 2007 9:34 AM
I think it is great that you state your opinions even if you know it is going to piss some people off. That is the problem with our society. We tiptoe around every conflict and issue instead of screaming at it face to face. We need the conflict, we need the in your face attitude to get things across and to be taken seriously. I commend your bavery oh tina and dub you sir brave hips.
Posted by: Katie | April 2, 2007 9:46 AM