We have been in all winter. Some winter days weren't wintery at all, but this mamma was tired and depressed, so we would hide out. All winter. Little hostages they were.

Now, there is sun and warmth and more room to play inside and ceiling fans make us feel like we are at a resort. We look out the window over the big family bed and see the ruins of an old house. An old door that doesn't open at the top of crocked stairs. I whisper that sealed inside is possibly another world. One that is like our own, but with fantastic secrets. I whisper that this world and door used to be under the ocean and we are in a submarine and have finally found it. I whisper "i love you." and you whisper it back with your little square teeth framed by your tiny mouth. Your sister is jumping on the bed because she sees a squirrel. Finally it is a squirrel and not a rat. But wait, two squirrels. And arbol, trees, two arbol, two trees.

We get shoes and socks and go outside. I promise we will see more squirrels and birds and Archies. There is much pointing and more words in Spanish that I can't make out. The little hostages are enjoying freedom.

U Street smells like the boardwalk at the beach. All the cigarette smoke and fried food. All the people and the music. The hip hop clothing store has a huge display of giant polo shirts featuring graffiti AND Popeye the sailorman. This makes no sense to me, but makes me laugh. Popeye creeps me out. I wonder if this is the point. The post office line is insane as usual. We let an ancient grandma with a walker go to the front of the line. And I think of how maybe we aren't supposed to live to be so old and tiny. That perhaps our minds go so that we don't have to remember how terrible we feel.

The wind picks up as I pass the Black Cat and by the time I am at Studio Theater, Rachi is asleep and Anya in the front seat is getting hit by all kinds of windy dust. Big drops of rain are falling on us and I tell Ani to just close her eyes and enjoy the walk. It is just wind, I yell. A clean, new mom with one baby has her plastic cover over her stroller and looks at me like I am the worst nanny in the world. I know she is thinking this.

The drops don't last long, so we go to Whole Foods and buy strawberries for me and chocolate for daddy and Pirate's Booty for the girls.

At the playground, Rachi is still asleep. Ani is freed from her stroller and looks around at the world like it is the best thing she has ever seen. She squeals with delight and sits at the bottom of the slide to take it all in. Her sister wakes up and is amazed to be somewhere new. We play for a while, but mostly just watch the other children with a crazy intensity.

Some days I feel like I can't handle the girls at all on my own. The terrible twos have arrived early and I find myself in the weeds earlier and earlier each day. The answer to this is new adventures. I know this, but must remind myself daily. No more little hostages. No more babies. It is time for me to grow little girls. We have lucked into another city year and I must make the most of it.