I did not weigh myself today. It is starting to feel destructive to do it every day. I might switch to every other day, not sure. I can now actually take off my size 22 pants without unzipping them. I am talented like that. I tried on a pair of 18s, though, and they are so too small. All of the 20s seem to be hiding from me.

20 days in and I am already over things like snacks and pop. I am starting to see food as my enemy, which is the only way to do this. I look at every calorie listing with questioning eyes. Jeff ate a whole thing of Ben and Jerry's ice cream which was over 1000 calories. I didn't even yearn to be part of it. I wondered how he would eat anything else in the day. How it would all fit in his tummy. I do have some food friends, namely tiny pickles and feta cheese. And wheat ceral and pitas. But mostly, it is good to see food as my enemy for now.

I am taking this time, in this first month to get used to and create new rules. New rules for this upcoming week are: 1. drink 6-8 glasses of water a day. 2. No eating after 7 pm. 3. Introduce the treadmill twice a week.

The no eating after 7 is getting me right now. I usually work late into the night on contract projects and often times, blackberry and lemon sorbet are my co-workers. Sorbet is a nice treat with no fat, but reminds me of the old days when I weighed 300 pounds and I would get up and eat in the middle of the night. The first time I did this ( lost the first 70 pounds before getting pregnant with the girls), I actually had to have a rule about NOT eating in the MIDDLE of the night. Thinking about this makes me remember how completely sick I was.

So to recap... rules from before... think about everything that goes into your mouth. Switched from soda to diet, write down what you eat, start with a low fat breakfast. And new rules, water, no eating after 7pm and start moving.

Oh and the best advice ever is , "it is ok to be hungry". Hunger means burning fat. I think of my body eating those nasty fat cells in there. I love that visual. Chomp. Chomp.