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I rarely have two super cool outfits for the girls to wear at the same time. Jeff says that I favor Rachi with the cool clothes and leave Anya to the pink pinks. I often feel that this suits their personalities, but I am trying to not do this anymore! So today, I suited the girls up in their coolest clothes. Rachi in D.C. Flag shirt by Debbie 60bugs and Anya in the Somtimes I Worry about Zombies shirt by me!
Here is Anya in her zombies shirt with cute sweater from my brother:
Rachi has a conversation about D.C. Statehood:
I know that necklace looks scary bad, don't worry, I took it away as soon as it got that close to her neck!
Anya is tired of this:
I am working on updating my etsy shop with a New Year sale, so check that later tonight or tomorrow.
On Christmas, we talk of my parent's ghost. Everyone has a story of it. I have never seen it or they since some see a man and some a child. I do remember the time my brother and sister saw it and the whole family went crazy in the middle of the night because they thought it was a man in the house. My father tried to arm us all with knives and bats and even a gun. I just got up and locked my bedroom door.
Now my sister has stories of the ghosts saying "hi" to her or just walking around the house in the middle of the night. It makes me think that maybe 50 years from now ghosts will be like the solar system. Like we didn't used to know it was there, but science proved there are all these planets and such. Science will someday prove that ghosts, too, are all around us. I sound like a crazy, but I don't really believe in ghosts. I just like the idea. I will believe it when science tells me about it when I am old. I will be 70 and Anya's daughter will tell me about how ghosts work and that they are just energy left over from us when we die and how in the old days no one could see them. I will tell her about Aunt Lisa and how she could. My grand daughter will promise to look for me after I die. Look for my left over energy. I will be a grandma ghost and no one will be afraid of this because science tells them it is perfectly normal. Someday we will all be ghosts and it will be ok.
On Christmas, I see my brother who has been away. Moved away, far. He is less like a ghost that I think he will be. He is the same as before and I am fond of this. He doesn't have the special ghost powers of my sister and I think he is ok with this. What ya going to do, ya know? Someday they will teach it in school. How Ghosts Work or Seeing Ghosts 101. You won't need John Edward or any of those tv ghost chats.
On Christmas, I see ornaments on the tree that my grandfather made and I remember that he is dead and has been so for some time. He is such a big personality in my mind that I often forget this fact. That he is indeed dead. That is a very nice compliment, I think as I pass my fingers over a little wooden sleigh. I also think of my grandmother, Margie, and how she is actually alive, even though I often forget this fact. This is not a slight. She has forgotten herself for sometime, I think. My brother gives me pictures of me and the girls at his wedding and I see Margie in my face. I see her in my shoulders and how heavy I am. This doesn't make me sad because she was always a big woman and I loved that about her. I loved her physical presence. When she got old and frail, I would hug her and miss the her of my youth. How I miss her so. I vow to take my girls to see her before she becomes a ghost. Even if it is hard. Even if she doesn't know me anymore. Even if she calls me Sally, her mother's name. I whisper a little promise.
On Christmas, we talk of ghosts. I don't mind this because we are at this place in our lives. Remembering rather than living new. It is ok to be this way for one Christmas. But we must not stay here. We must make new memories and stop looking after old ones.
It has been a crazy few days. Rachi's cold became a cough and then a series of asthma attacks this past weekend, sending she and I to the emergency room. Nothing too serious, just the usual chest xray, oral steriods, etc. She and I got to have some nice alone time on that emergency room rolly bed. How do you keep a 1-1/2 year old in an emergency room for 3 hours? I went straight from the emergency room to the Black Cat Rock and Shop on Sunday. It was a hard call, but she was doing fine and Jeff was ok with it, so I went. I hate making those calls. Do I do what I planned or stay home just in case. These are times that I am lucky I am not a single mom and have the ability to make these calls. I felt a little like a bad mom for going, but then the turn out and interaction with customers was so great that I felt better.
I re-met some people who I had sold to at Crafty Bastards including the guy who I will refer to as "zombie guy" because his girlfriend called me the "zombie lady" which totally made me laugh. Yes, I am the now the zombie lady to many. :) Anyway, zombie guy was rad to see again and I am glad he finally got a shirt that fit!
The Mutiny were nearly all there and once again, it was rad to work together. I can't say this enough. If you are out there and crafty, get yourself a group of crafty friends. There is no reason to make and sell stuff in a void. I did that for so long and it was weird and lonely.
Then on Monday, a bunch of us loaded up Debbie's car again and sold at the downtown market. This wasn't as good as the Black Cat, but the weather was lovely and the company was good and at one point I looked down to see that we were all wearing cool shoes. I always like people better when they wear Mary Janes. I don't think I have had such a nice experience with a group of people since my magazine days in college and this is rad.
An evening and day away from the girls really made me put things into perspective, too. I missed their faces so much. Rachi's coolness and Ani's sweetness. It also made me realize their talking is just growing every day. They can now say so much stuff, including words like love-y, bobo (for belly button), cool, Belva (their grandmother's name), cup, cookie, plus they can sing "row, row, row your boat". Rachi can also take off and put on her own pants! I feel like it will only be a few months before we have full sentences. Amazing.
I usually hate Christmas things like Santa and songs and things, but the girls are changing that for me. They just freak out when they hear Christmas music and see Santa. It is strange. I didn't want to do the whole Santa thing because I think it is awful to lie to your children about these things. And we don't believe in the whole jesus thing, so why even bother with Christmas? But seeing the girls get so excited by the Christmas tree in the lobby makes me realize that I have to do it. So, this weekend, we will make a trip to the mall in hopes of seeing Santa and lights and trees and Christmas music. Oh! And the Hallmark ornament catalog is their favorite book right now. They just want to look at it and oooh and ahhh and point and chat. How weird is that? I guess we will be going there after xmas to let the girls pick out an ornament. They will all be on sale by then!
I hope you are having a good December. Now I am off to sleep and dream.
This Sunday, a bunch of the Mutiny will be selling our handmade goodies at the Black Cat:
SUN DEC 17- ROCK N SHOP: A Rock and Roll Garage Sale free mainstage 8:00
1811 14th St. NW WDC 20009
Stop by and say hi and pick up some last minute holiday gifts. At the same time, don't forget to check out the raffle that we are organizing for Callum Robbins. We will all be donating and asking others to donate cool goods to this cause. Buy a ticket for a good cause and you might win something rad! If you haven't heard about little Cal, read below:
Quote, originally posted by Pitchforkmedia.com ยป
Donations Sought for J. Robbins' Son
Cal Robbins diagnosed with motor neuron disease
Callum Robbins, son of J. Robbins (Jawbox, Burning Airlines, Channels, plus a slew of producing and engineering credits) and Janet Morgan (Channels), is in need of your help.
In September, the now-ten-month-old Cal was diagnosed with genetic motor neuron disease Spinal Muscular Atrophy (Type 1), an often-fatal disorder; most children with Type 1 SMA will die before the age of two, as it affects their ability to crawl, walk, breathe, swallow, and control their head and neck. At this point in time, it does not have a cure.
SMA-stricken babies who live past the age of two are likely to be wheelchair-bound for life and probably require scoliosis surgery. The condition is an expensive one, especially for parents looking to test out its experimental treatments, which is something Robbins and Morgan hope to do.
As you well know, indie rock godfathers don't usually pull in the big bucks. Thus, DeSoto Records (Jawbox, Burning Airlines, Channels) co-founder Bill Barbot has set up a PayPal account to raise money for Cal and his family. Donations can be made to the PayPal account of bbarbot@gmail.com or via the link on Cal's page.
To read more and make a donation, check out:
http://www.desotorecords.com/cal/index.shtml
My evening of selling at the Palace of Wonders was great except for the actual selling part. I just wasn't feeling it. It was strange. I am usually really ready to talk to people about all of my silly stuff, but last night I just wasn't feeling it. I did enjoy spending time with allt he Mutiny members and the venue was just so so lovely (really, check out the Palace of Wonders at 1210 H St, NE, DC). But I found myself not interested in talking about zombies or octopi. And a sour saleman makes for sour sales.
It took me a whole day to realize it, but I missed the girls so much that I could barely stand being away. I rarely spend more than an hour away from them now that I am home so this makes sense. I also felt guilty that I got to go out into the pretty fall and talk to adults while Jeff had to listen to them yell "ma, ma, ma" at him all night.
I have decided to not let this happen next week, though, when I go out again to sell at the much larger Black Cat Rock n Shop. I will be proud of my million zombie t-shirts and try to sell them all to make room for the next design. It also didn't help that I knew I would be selling more shirts online while I was out then I would sell in person. I got home to find this to be true. How rad is that? Speaking of which, I have been almost entirely updating my etsy shop with new products rather than my own shop. I have found that it is faster and easier and with all these orders pouring in, I need fast and easy! Check out the new Mr. Z that scottybmotorbike drew for me. I have named him Zed.
So, check out the etsy shop for last minute buying. There is still time to order for the holidays! I will likely close the shop next week sometime, but will be sending out priority mail packages twice a week before then.
Tonight I get to have an evening away in a smoke-y club. I am sad and will miss the girls and wonder how they will fall asleep with just Daddy and Archie to comfort them. But I am also excited to go to a new place and see friends and sell zombie t-shirts. You can check me out tonight here:
:: The First Annual Palace of Wonders Art and Craft Show ::
Sunday, December 10, 7-11pm :: 1210 H Street NE :: Washington, DC
I have been silk screening like crazy to fill orders. I have also been wiping runny noses, but not at the same time, of course. My own little cold has left me without a voice and it is pretty hard to talk to tiny girls. So explaining that 1. Those shoes don't match and 2. You are already wearing shoes has been hard.
Next Sunday, I do it all over again, here:
:: Rock n Shop at the Black Cat ::
Sunday, Dec 17 :: 8pm-12.30am ::1811 14th Street NW :: Washington, DC
Stop by and say hi!
This Threadless shirt is pretty clever:
And the $10 sale only has 5 days left!
I was up half the night Saturday screen printing my new zombie art (by the talented Scott) on small teal squares of fabric. There is something so satisfying about this process. Burning the screen without flaws, and then repeating it over and over again. Watching the fabric soak up the ink. I spent a long time being the world's crappiest and laziest silk screener, but now I love the sight of my solarium covered in drying canvas.
The prints were the front of my new zombie "dolls". Jeff says they are just tiny pillows, and he is prolly right. Dolls, tiny pillows, whatever. They have been a dream of mine since I saw the art that Scott created for me.
Then yesterday, my sister and I battled four kids and piles of holiday ebay posting (hers) to sew and stuff these little guys. We only got 6 made, but it was so much fun. We argued a bit about how to do it, but once I convinced her my way was right, we laughed our butts off making these. The result is a tiny pile of zombies. Three of which we actually made into Xmas tree ornaments. It got late and all of kids wanted to sleep, so she packed up her sewing machine and took the rest of my little brain-eaters home with her to finish for me. I am seriously afraid of sewing, but seeing the finished product all piled up makes me want to get a sewing machine.
Then this morning, I found Rachel gathering all the little guys up. She, too, is addicted to them. When I tried to take them from her she screamed, "Bombies! No! Me!" Bombies indeed. Now she keeps looking around the house for the pile of bombies. It makes me want to mass produce them so that I have piles and piles for her to carry around the house.
Rachel gets caught gathering the bombies:
Rachel is mad after I try to take the bombies away:
Anyway, that is the story of how the bombie was born. I added them to the shop, and will also have some at my upcoming shows. These guys are such a group effort between Scott, my sister and I. It is like I have my own little production team. Thanks to you guys!
Oh and inspiration from Heidi Mypapercrane's tiny nurse dolls, one of which I carried throughout my pregnancy.
We had our first Craft Mutiny event today at Debbie's house and it was a huge success! Thanks to everyone who stopped by and it was rad to meet some new people. Debbie was amazing to host us at her house! We also added a new member to the mutiny. Welcome to Sean! I bought a great little orange man painting from him. I will post a pic tomorrow. Tonight I have zombie dolls to silkscreen. This first Craft Mutiny event really made me realize just how amazing it is to have friends again! Things were weird with our friend situation during my pregnancy and of course after. But today, both old and new friends came out to support me and I love that. Not to mention how much I totally adore the mutineers. We work well together. We are a great team.
I have been quite overwhelmed with things lately. Mostly the orders. But also Anya. She wants to be held all the time. She needs mama. Today, I learned something, though. Not once today did I see my friend's 2-1/2 year old scream for her or freak out asking to be held. It might have happened, but I didn't see it. On the other hand, everyone worried over Anya's crying for mama. This time in my life is very very short. Some day, my girls won't want to be held. Some day, I won't be able to make them feel better by my presence alone. And every single time I get stressed out with Anya because she isn't as easy going as her sister, I am missing out. Every time. And it makes me sad. And I wish I could be a better mother all the time. Not just when I stop and think and not get caught up in the moment. I am a little spread thin. I am growing old faster. But I am loved bigger and better than I could ever imagine. I need to remember these things.
I leave you with a new picture of the girls. Their love for Archie is tremendous and I worry that the longer he lives, the harder it will be when he dies. I can't believe I am worrying about this. But they literally call for him when they wake up in the morning.
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