My journeys have been two and very difficult. It is Monday and thus time to start a fresh with the pound dropping. Today I weigh 253 pounds. I am back from Long Beach (more on that later) and thus back to my time zone and baby zone and all of my zones. This includes food. This includes me thinking of hazelnut candies and not buying any. This includes me planning my meals and then eating something worse when the plan falls through. Cranberry orange muffin for breakfast= 8 points. Could have been Krispy Kreme, but I resisted. Lunch was to rekindle my love affair with Subway, but instead I ate a chicken gyro. Could have been worse, could have been a burrito. And so on and so on and I need to remember it is ok to be hungry. And I need to remember when I used to worry I would get too thin. I need to remember how wonderful it was to unearth bones. My bones. Under fat. Under fear.

I think about how there are thousands of people out there starting one of my journeys. STARTING!!! I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine weighing 310 pounds and learning how to eat right. I couldn't imagine giving birth to twins again. And there are some of you out there, many of you out there who might be doing one of these things right now. You just found out you are having twins, so you google it. BLOG TWINS 15 weeks. You are in my thoughts. You are my rocks today. You will remind me that I don't want to eat the hazelnut candies. You will remind me of me.