Jeff and I have spent the long weekend watching Bill Murray movies and eating brownies. Is this what normal people do with their last few weeks of freedom?

Before Bill and the brownies, our friends, Michael and Edie were so so kind to come over and entertain me for all of Saturday. All day! It really did make me feel more normal to have other people in the house for the day. Jeff made BBQ and I even got to eat on the roof of the building, which was my only trip out of the apartment besides going to the doctor in the past two weeks. Poor me, being made to stay out of the Washington summer. :)

Of course, Saturday actually took a lot out of me and made me very very tired and Jeff kept telling me that my vacation to the couch would be over if I didn't spend more time in bed. And I know that starting Tuesday, I will be back in bed full time.

Tuesday! Tuesday marks 34 weeks pregnant. Jeff says he feels like we are in a holding pattern now. That it just feels like we are waiting now. But, I am kinda hoping we still have 3 or 4 more weeks. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be 40 weeks pregnant with twins, since 37 is often thought of as full term for twins, but I don't want to go into labor now either and deal with tiny babies. But I understand his feelings of things being on hold. He has put together the crib, we have hundreds and hundreds of diapers stock piled and it seems that we can sit and watch my belly grow. I often wonder if it would have gotten this big with just one baby. And then I wonder how much bigger it can possibly get. Maybe Jeff will take a picture for me tomorrow to post.

I was reading some old posts about weight loss the other day. And I realized something. That first weight loss journey was really just a dress rehearsal. Sure, I lost 70 pounds. Well, now I have gained 55 of it back. It is easy to forget that. I know that it is a different kind of weight and that I will likely drop 20 pounds or so giving birth. But these past few weeks in bed have made me totally take a look at how big my bum and thighs have gotten again. Don't get me wrong. I am not worrying over them, just sort of exploring old territory.

I am really looking forward to getting back into this challenge of losing weight again. And this time, I won't just be losing the baby weight, but I will get to continue the original journey. I am a little curious to see how easy or hard it will really be. How much breastfeeding really helps, how much time I will have for exercise, how hungry breastfeeding will make me, how much I will have to eat to breastfeed two babies. Don't think that I am stressing over these things. I am curious, the way one would be about visiting a foriegn land for the first time. It isn't an emotional thing like the first time I lost the weight, it is more intellectual. I am hoping the emotional issues surrounding weight for me are completely gone. I am even curious to see if that is the case. Because I found it really is emotional issues that keep us fat and unhealthy.

So. 34 weeks and being pregnant with twins is finally getting hard for me. It is hard to sleep and hard to stay awake. I have begun to be able to feel contractions about once a day, but they go away quickly by drinking water and resting. But really, I still don't think I am AS uncomfortable as I was at my most fat and unhealthy. Isn't that fascinating?