I have two days left, well one now that today is over. Then I will climb a mountain that may be terribly difficult to climb or not. I will have no idea until I get there. What I do know is that I will have the biggest job ahead of me when I get to the top.

I spent a good hour in bed today listening to my ipod and thinking. I mostly listened to a boy named Davey sing songs about love and houses and dancing. Davey has a lovely raspy yet girly voice. He has had a hard time in his life and yet he makes art about being happy. Davey made me think about the fact that someday one or both of my girls will be in love. And my hopes are that they will fall in love with someone like these songs I am listening to. Someone kind and giving and smart, someone like my Jeff. Thinking of the future of my girls' love life made me remember a dream that I had before I even knew that my girls were girls. A dream in which one of my girls was at a party, wearing two hats and waiting for her sister to arrive. She meets a boy, a thin boy not unlike her father. They talk outside in the cold about why she doesn't like parties. He builds things for a living and has the most interesting and wonderul blue snowflake tattoos on his face. She is falling in love with the snowflake boy.

I realized just now that the scene I dreamt is not unlike the day Jeff and I started dating. We were outside in the dark, escaping a room full of people. It was raining and we were talking about a girl that he liked. He told me that he didn't like her anymore, that he liked someone else. "Who? I asked." You, silly, he said. So simple and uncomplicated. This is what I want for my girls. Love. Uncomplicated. I want my girls to know love the way I do.