Bouncing back. It is easy. Watch me.

Yesterday, I found myself swirling down the drain. Swirling, swirling, swirling. Yesterday was the second day in a row that I worked from home this week. The second day in a row that I didn't go out into the invisible wall of heat that DC has been this past week. The second day that I didn't change out of my sleep pants. The second day that I did my work in the little corner of our apartment, with the TV on. Yesterday, my feet were so swollen that I couldn't wear shoes.

So by last night, I was swirling down the drain. It was so easy to get there, too. And I know that things like not showering and having the insipid daytime TV on in the background made it worse worse worse.

I went to bed last night, not thinking I would ever be happy again. Really. I did. Isn't that lame? I let these feelings spill over into the my future. Spill over into what it will be like to be home with two tiny girls.

But, get this... this morning I woke up completely fine. There is magic in the bounce back. Amazing magic. I woke up rested and not swollen and ready for the day. I thought, if only it could have been like this when I was depressed years ago. Morning. Wake up. Pow! All better. Is it the power of the tiny girls inside my tummy? Did they spirit away my swirling in the night? If so, thank you tiny girls.

I spent some time this morning thinking of things that will make me happy again when the girls get here. First is shoes. Yes, shoes. I can't wait to have my normal feet back so that I can wear my cute shoes. I know that sounds silly. But if you are a Mary Janes girl, you know what I mean. I am sick of wearing the ugly sneakers like when I was the biggest fat girl. I want to slip my feet into shoes that don't match the rest of my clothes. I want to be free of these huge feet. Another thing is running. I want to be able to run again. I want to feel my muscles move and work like they should. Like the best machine in the world.