I have to stop worrying about things that I can't control. Well, we all have to, I am sure.

I have spent the past few days worrying about what will happen after my passengers get here. How we will take care of them, daycare, etc. I need to stop putting any any any energy into these things right now. Instead I need to put my energy into growing my passengers.

I also need to stop worrying about the possible problems they can have from being identical twins. One of which is TTTS, which is when one baby gets more fluid and nutrients than the other. What can I do about this until I actually see it on a sonogram? Only 15% of idenitical twins have this problem. And there is nothing I can do to prevent it. So I obviously have to stop worrying about it.

Since I became a healthy, non-depressed person, I have firmly believed that if you think things will be ok, that they will. That if you worry too much, you make bad things happen. I mean, sure, bad things happen no matter what... but I don't want my worrying to bring on bad things.

So, I now pledge to not worry. I need to be a happy ship. When did I change from the captain of a great ship to the ship itself? Weird. ;) So. I am a happy ship. My passengers are enjoying their stay. They still have a long journey. As do I.

I am 12 weeks pregnant today. Thursday I will see my passengers again. It will be the best view yet; a 3D sonogram. When I just typed that I felt one of those surges of happiness that I know doesn't come from me, but comes directly from them.

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thank you to sam in the UK for the amazing email this morning. all future parents should get so much support from people. i am a lucky captain.