I was just sitting here at work, working very hard, wondering how long I would have to wait at the bus stop in this rainy snow when I felt this little jolt in the tummy.

I thought, what the hell is that? Um, how about the babies in there?

That is what the first few days of the second trimester have been like. I hardly feel pregnant. I am surprised when the babies move.

I suppose this is the calm before the storm.

Thursday afternoon we see the passengers again. And if they aren't too shy, we will finally find out their gender.

I have been thinking alot about how I would actually be a better mother to boys than girls. I feel like I have been raising or relating to boys my whole life. I have a very low tolerance for image associated self-confidence issues, too. Which I assume would be a bigger problem with girls than boys. I might be wrong, though. It is weird that I have a low tolerance for that kind of thing, but I do. I was never a fat girl who let it affect my relationships with people or who let what other people said about me hurt me. I don't know where my confidence came from, perhaps it is some sort of mental illness, haha. But I am not sure that I will be able to relate to little girls who worry about their appearance all the time. Perhaps that makes me a better future mom for girls, that it won't even be a question. My girls will know how rad they are and it won't ever be a problem.

We will see. At least I am thinking about all of these things. I might perhaps be the first one in the line of mothers before me to even think about these things (meaning my own mom, my grandma, my great grandma). Perhaps I am lucky that I can afford such worries.