Here is one view from my new rooftop deck. You can't see everything from this one and the view is much more breathtaking at night. But here is the first picture:

And here is a picture that I took of Brian and I on the roof this afternoon. As usual, as I am told I don't look as happy or smilely as I really am. I can't smile on command. Plus, I was talking to Brian when I took this and the sun was in my eyes eyes eyes, so I am all small eyes. Brian looks all happy though. Sillly Brian, making me look not as happy because he looks so happy. I promise to the people who complain, I will try to post a picture of me smiling more.

Today was lovely. Jeff, Brian and I went to see Shaun of the Dead, which was very very enjoyable. Brian has now been redeemed for dragging us to see at least one very bad movie in the past few months. It wasn't his fault, but he was really wanting_needing this one to be funny. He got it! Lucky duck.

Tomorrow night we are all going to see the Mountain Goats, who i haven't seen in actual years. I hope he is still good. I love that new record, even though it is about divorce and very sad. I have been a busy busy girl lately. All party party. Well, not party, but busy fun outside of the house girl. I think it is because of October. It is my favorite month to be alive. To exist. To experience life.

Tonight we begin our crazy Farscape marathon. We have to watch all of season 4 in like 7 days. I have no idea how. We will see.

I looked for myself in a bathroom mirror today and couldn't find me. Haha. I just didn't recognize myself. I love that. I am always so used to seeing this huge fat girl in the mirror and when i see a smaller person, i wonder where I am. I worry sometimes about not being a fat girl anymore. I worry that I won't be pretty if I lose too much weight. That must sound funny to girls who fear being fat. That I fear being thin. But it is the truth and I must share it. But then I realize, no matter what, i will always still be a big girl and I love that. I can work hard to accomplish the weight loss, but still stay pleasingly plump and curvey and girly. So, I end up with the best of all worlds. A sense of accomplishment and still pretty pretty plump. I guess that is the upside of starting at nearly 300 pounds. Haha. I can always find a positive side to every frelling thing.

This is a strange time. A flux time. I am in flux. But you already knew that. Sorry to repeat. But it bares repeating. It is worth repeating. Repeat. Forward. Repeat and forward again. Move forward. Repeat. Don't be a still shark. You will die. Still sharks die. So keep moving and swimming. Ahead. Remember. Ahead. Ahead. Ahead. No matter where it takes you. Ahead is always the right way to go.