I have been dreaming about people I used to know again, which makes me think about the geography of my life again. Where I have been and where I am going and who has been a stop on the way.

Last night's dreaming was very tactile. Like I dreamt of the way people used to feel. Like the softness of a hand or cheek or ripple of a favorite sweater. It was strange, comforting and exhausting. I saw a friend in an elevator in one dream and had to touch her hand before she knew it was me. And smells too. Like the way someone's apartment always smelled like something that I couldn't remember or place.

This morning, the air outside smelled of camping and hot dogs and it made me think of my years as a girlscout. Hair braided to fight off ticks. Sleeping outside with dozons of other girls. I didn't dream that far back, though. Just to high school and college.

I don't want to think that my subconcious mind is stuck in the past, but it keeps taking me there while I sleep. Does this happen to you?

On to something else: the worst thing about losing all this weight is how cold my hands are now that summer is over. My hands are soooo cold! I can't stand it. How can thin people stand being so cold?