You are human and ok.
Did I mention my birthday is coming up? It is now about a month away. I will be 30, no wait! 31! Crazy. People are always arguing with me about my age. Strangers, people I know, everyone. I get the wide eyes when I say I am 30. "No you are not," they say. It usually happens like this:
"What does your boyfriend think of your blue hair?"
"My husband, actually."
"Husband?! You are too young to have a husband."
Then I smile a little and most likely blush, "No, I'm 30."
"30! I would have guessed 22."
I wonder what it is about me that makes people think I am so much younger than I am. Is it that I know my core self? Is it my silly style? My mary janes and blue hair? Maybe it is all of those.
It has been happening more now that I have lost so much weight. When I was at my most fat, strangers mostly didn't talk to me. I was talking to someone about my having blue hair now and I came up with something kinda profound. I said that I think that dying my hair blue happened right around the noticable weight loss (around 40 pounds gone) because I wanted to enhance the "look at me" factor. I don't know, at some point you want to stop hiding. And I had been hiding for so long behind all those pounds, that I wanted to be undo it all. I wanted to be seen. The old me would have thought that was very feminine and weak. But it isn't. It is human and ok.
This is starting to feel like an Oprah magazine article or a self-help book. You are human and ok. Haha.
I wonder what losing another 60 pounds will do for my youthful appearance? We will see. We will see.